From bubble time to trouble time

Once upon a time, there lives a happy lucky couple,
Lucky because they are living in a great city called New York, the Big Apple,
Happy because the life they lived is very much free of trouble.

One bright Sunny day after having a big Mac,
They bumped into Frank, a friend who works for Freddie Mac,
“You fools if you still living in that small rented condo” declared Frank.
“I can make you richer and happier without risk of breaking the bank.”

“In this world we all help each other like “Lehman” brothers.
No income No jobs No assets means no worries to those mortgager brokers.
A zero deposit can secure you a nice house just like all the others,
In no time your house will double its value, I can swear this to my mother,
Add one AIG insurance policy, simply nothing more you need to bother,
Your interest will be paid, your holiday will be great, and your life will be much better,
I promise you my dear brother!”

All these are just sound incredible,
But looking into Frank’s eyes, they decide all he said is nevertheless credible.
Soon they found their dream house & signed their mortgage paper for the bank people.,
The feel of new home is simply indescribable.
Indeed now their life does become more enjoyable.

The couple is happy, Frankie is happy, the bank is happy, New Yorkers are happy,
The country is happy and in fact the world is happy.

Along came year 07/08, things happened then is utterly unthinkable.

First, they were told everyone worked on Wall Street is having nightmares.
The dream of Wall Street is now more resemble to the nightmare on E Street.

“I dreamt a bearish chart that even a bear will be stunned.” recalled a trader from Bear Sterns.
“I dreamt a once merry banker being lynched.” wept a staff from Merrill Lynch.
“I dreamt a falling leap man and his brothers being punched by angry mobs.” paranoid a guy from Lehman brothers
“I dreamt Mao and Stalin standing in front of me laughing.” saddened the man from Morgan Stanley.
“I dreamt a gold man being sacked in my office.” dreaded the woman from Goldman Sachs.

“Nightmares are just nightmares. They are simply untrue.
Maybe these are the omens foreshadowing something bad for those poor guys.[1]” The couple wondered.

Still, this all sounds too much for the couple, so they drove to Main Street for a change.
Only this time what they see is just all quite real.

Out of blue, they suddenly saw so many bubbles!


When they pass a house, they saw a housing bubble.
When they pass a bank, they saw a credit bubble.
When they pass a mortgage broker, they saw a mortgage bubble.
When they pass a share trader, they saw a share bubble.
When they pass a bond trader, they saw a bond bubble.
When they pass a commodity shop, they saw a commodity bubble.
When they pass a hedge fund firm, they saw a hedge fund bubble.
When they pass a private equity office, they saw a private equity bubble.
……

Oh my gracious lord, there are bubbles everywhere, and one by one, they are all bursting!

“Help! Help!” That’s Uncle Sam’s voice.
“I am freezing and shaking. I am very sick.
My system feels as if melting down! My heart feels like stop pumping!”

The couple rush to his aid, only found Uncle Sam is screaming to his trusted Dr Paulson.
The Dr is nicknamed Dr “Possum” for his love of the nature and resides in the bush.
“What you have is the AMBCS! It is caused by years of excessive use of your body assets and system abuse.”

“What is AMBCS? Please enlighten me.” Asked Uncle Sam.

“It stands for Acute Multi Bursting Complexity Syndrome. Frankly your body can no longer coupe. It’s exhausted.

Specifically, first you have the “credit” freeze and “financial” shake symptoms
which in terms affect your blood flow, internal hemorrhaging cause system dysfunction and deflate your body parts,
Then, eh, do you know pneumothorax, the collapse of lung?
Well what you also have is stockthorax, perhaps some other types of thorax as well,
There is toxic in your system and high debt pressure.
On top of that, you may also have a rare form of cancer called “derivative” cancer which, like a time bomb, can explode anytime.
And for your heart not pumping? Well, the air bubble in your bloodstream caused a near cardiac arrest!”

The Dr has calmly outlined his sobering diagnoses.

“All my lord, since caught subprime cold last year, it’s all down hill since then. Is it still possible for me to recover from all this?” asked the dejected Uncle.

“Don’t worry. Nothing is impossible. You will always have god’s bless.
“But first you need vast liquid and blood transfusion right now.
My previous prescription are too mild and dosage too low,
What you need is some very expensive medicine with heavy dosage.
For example, this newest congress approved “TARP II” drug costs 700 billion dollar per course.
But it’s worth every penny. It will do hell of good to your blood flow, re-boot system function and body strengthening.
You wouldn’t be cured instantly and it may have some side effects. But you will be cured, I promise.”

(A little over three months after handing over that prescription, Dr Possum vanished into the bush again, this time for good.[2])

Without a clue on the medicine front, the couple can only wishes Uncle good luck,
“Just hang in there, you will be fine, my dear uncle.
Such expensive drugs have to be very good.
Plus you are having more doctors besides Dr Possum. You are in very good hands.”

Feeling bewildered and shivering, the couple finally head home.
On their way back, they painfully decide that
they will return the key of their beloved new house to their bank and return to that old rented condo.

The sun is still shining. The birds are still singing. The clock is still clicking.
Only the rooms are smaller. They thank god for they still have a roof above their head.

After all, this is only a small price to pay

For the world has changed from the bubble time to trouble time.

Now they are only left wondering,

The bubbles may soon all be gone. But how soon will it be the end of all these trouble?

May god bless all of us!






[1] Consider these: 1) The worst bear chart pattern in history
2) Top bankers are being condemned and ridiculed
3) Fall of Lehman Brothers and CEO being punched by a staff
4) Communists are laughing at all this
5) Investment bankers losing their jobs in drove.
[2] Henry Paulson’s Treasury Position was appointed by President Bush. His term expires along with the end of Bush Administration.